Fat does not equal poor health.

I recently had some blood work done and the results were not remarkable. In fact, they were consistent with my labs my whole life. Normal. Unremarkable. But I’m overweight. So how can I have fat and be healthy?

First, don’t judge a book by its cover. There are plenty of skinny fats, and fat fats, but you can’t determine a person’s health just by looking at them. There is so much more that goes into an evaluation of health. Such as activity level, muscle or bone mass, and genetics. Thanks, mom. LOL.

For me, coming to terms with accepting my body has been a huge challenge and something I still struggle with. “I’ll be happy when … I’ve reached x weight.” Or “See, restricting is good because people are nice to me when I’m smaller in size.” I have never really been satisfied with my body and the way it is intended to be. My body shape looks very much like my mother’s. That’s my genetics. I can work my ass off at the gym and starve myself like I did for years, and while I may lose some of the weight, the body is mostly the same. When my “hard work” didn’t change my body like I hoped, I would fall back into depression and binging. This yo-yo dieting was in effect my whole life. Mybody always went back to the size it was comfortable at, even if I was not comfortable with it.

Through recovery, I’m learning to accept my body, enjoy food and my workouts, and not use either as punishment. That has been the greatest blessing. I love CrossFit. Like, obsessed with the natural high after a weightlifting session or a tough workout. But I lost the love, like everything else, because of my distorted view of food and myself. This body, that is not “the right” shape for the gym or society, can do some pretty remarkable things in the gym. Although I may be slower than a lot of people, I’m faster than I was just sitting on my couch for the first half of my life. That is an accomplishment and those add up to where I am now: overweight, healthy, and happy.